Things Have Changed-3

Monday, March 20, 2020

After two weeks that passed by in a blur or at a snail’s pace; I decided last night I needed to try and get back to more of my schedule. I brought my violin back out to practice, wore nice clothes for my video lessons (like my dress clothes instead of my “homestead” overalls, which aren’t holey or anything), and started stretching again.

Gus was super talkative again today…actually now looking me in the eyes when he speaks to me. I wish there was a dog google translate button, because he sure has a lot of important things to tell me lately.

Things have amped up again. I’ve decided to not return to any in person lessons in April. And to cancel my May lessons with my littlest students. The sun was shining today and that was nice. I decided on no news today. That was probably the best decision I could have made. Some time off the heartache.

Thursday, April 2, 2020

We’ve had beautiful weather the last few days, although possible winter weather will show up tonight. This weekend was suppose to be the first spring recital. And as an update, no, I didn’t continue wearing my dress clothes to video lessons. They get dirty too frequently with Gus and his paws.

I’ve started working on some new hand stitching patterns with the hopes of making a few personal masks. No one is asking us here in NW IA to wear them, but the mayor of LA just recommended it to all citizens when they go out for their essential errands. Which means we are not far behind.

Or are we? Iowa is one of five states not issuing a stay-at-home order still. The others include South Dakota and North Dakota. I think that might be why people in our little area don’t see the urgency in staying home.

Saturday, April 4, 2020

Today would have been the first day of Spring Recitals at the studio where I’m an instructor and co-owner. To think, just a month ago, everything was business as usual. It feels like the last three weeks have been an eternity and also passed by in the blink of an eye.

I figured out how to (awkwardly) sew some face masks for myself and Tyler if he ever wants to wear one. They are less than beautiful, but after spending a whole day plus a few hours (minus my walking with Gus and some minor chores of course) putting one together and ripping it apart, I’m glad I spent the time to do so. Especially now that the CDC has changed its tune and is recommending people wear a mask or some type of covering to control the spread in asymptotic people.

Today-Wednesday, April 8, 2020

Our little Lakes area is trying to stay ahead of what’s going on. So they are asking us to wear masks (despite the state not doing so). The Governor has asked additional businesses to close their doors and will issue a misdemeanor to those who don’t comply. So, we had to officially close down our physical location. More summer residents are arriving early to this area to ride out the virus situation here instead of their full-time homes. But….

I’ve decided to end these Things Have Changed posts. I had been working on the one for next week, when I realized that using this blog as an outlet for these thoughts is not the direction I want to be heading. Especially since things aren’t going to be returning to normal anytime soon.

As a child, I started keeping a diary when I was five years old. I had pages and pages and notebooks and notebooks full of entries. A single entry might be ten pages long of my adolescent ramblings. Many people journal as a way to calm an anxious mind, work out their problems, etc, but I find that extensive journaling makes me become more dissociative. I lose the present moment, I become more anxious. Extra anxiety seems like a bad idea during these times. And I also don’t feel it’s sane for me to continually crawl into my own head when there is a required isolation. I’m a little too good at withdrawing into myself.

This isn’t the first time I’ve made this decision. Back in summer 2014, when the blog started to take off and readership was climbing everyday, I made the decision to pull back from the things that were too personal and start to plan out the posts with more of a pattern. I also scrapped my vlogging (yes, I was vlogging, but never published any of it) because that also felt like a way to avoid being in the present.

Why did I blabber on about all of that? Well, to reassure myself that I have precedent for making this kind of decision. And because I’ve already fallen down the rabbit hole of journaling on this blog, and it’s gonna take at least a couple of weeks of cold turkey not-writing before I can turn off that switch.

If there are big updates to what is happening, or a small thought, I’ll add them into my weekly Sunday posts. But for now, we all just try our best to get through this tricky situation. With a little dignity, if possible, a lot of love, and some facemasks.